Week 15 Storylab (microfiction)

Auburn and Evan giggled together, hands intertwined as they strolled down the driveway of Auburn's family home. Her mother, Catherine, sat, perched on the porch swing, admiring the young lovers and reminiscing on a happier time. She was happy with her husband, mostly. He was just so plain in both his appearance and personality. Catherine couldn't help but to catch herself thinking about her first love, Derek. She often wished she could run her fingers through his luscious red hair one last time. 

(Mai)

Comments

  1. Hi Linsey

    This is definitely something that is touching to read about, especially in the perspective of the mother. I think that you did a great job in terms of a micro-fiction for the readers to guess the finer details of the story. For example, what happened to Catherine's husband? How long ago did her husband pass? I think there are multiple answers that the audience can imply, which definitely makes the story that much more interesting! I liked this story alot. I look forward to reading more from you!

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  2. Hi Linsey,
    You story is super sweet and touching! I think you were able to create a scene most young adults would love to be apart of. I think you did a really good job portraying the scene through the mother's eyes. I think you also did a create job of setting the scene by using really good descriptive words. I know this is a short story but would have loved to see this in a longer version.

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  3. Hi Linsey,
    I love your story and the perspective in which it was offered. Great choice of words but maybe a little abrupt of an ending. I would suggest using the Micro fiction Revision option and refining your story. I used the option as an extra credit for a couple of my stories and it really helped. Hope to read more from you soon!

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  4. Hi Lindsey! I do not read microfictions very often, but this was a pretty detailed story in terms of how much you could add in regards to the short length. I love how you told this story from the woman's perspective so we could see what she was thinking, but the ending was very abrupt. It left me wondering why she was thinking about her first love when she was married to a different man! I wish this could have had a different ending or even a little extra length because I would love to read more! Overall, you did a great job!

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